140 Characters Wasn’t Enough: Stop Being A Twitter Groupie

Looks like Relly’s ready to ruffle some more feathers this week. If the shoe fits, better wear that shit comfortably. Take the floor, Relly!
Let me get this off my chest hair before I get knee deep into business. A lot of people’s feathers got ruffled because of my comments about J. Cole in last week’s blog. Feelings were hurt, threats were made and the aroma of denim shorts and anger was in the air. I just want to let all you niggas know that I couldn’t possibly give less than a fuck. The fact that people were really upset just lets me know that everything stated in that blog was 100% pure raw uncut truth. And we all know the truth hurts. I never hate, I keep it real and say what people really think, but are scared to say. Jay-Z said it best, “No disrespect intended, but if you’re offended, I can’t take it back, handle your business“.
Anyway, fuck ALL of that. Lets just get to the topic of my 9th classic blog that I’ve been providing the people with week after week. This one is dedicated to all of the groupies lingering in the deep dark depths of the Twitter world. At first glance you might be caught asking yourself, “What’s a Twitter Groupie?“. A Twitter Groupie is an individual that will do any and everything to gain the attention of their favorite artist on Twitter. We’ve all seen them tap dance across our timeline before, and I know for a FACT that I’m not the only one who’s sick of this shit. The worst part about it is, not only are there female groupies, there’s MALE groupies as well. Yes, male groupies. Niggas with beards and responsibilities acting like they worship absolutely nothing but their favorite rapper on Twitter. The shit brings several tears to my eyes when I see this type of behavior coming from grown men.
Look dog, you are in your late 20s with full coverage car insurance and a 401k. You cannot be begging these rappers for follow backs under ANY circumstances b. I don’t care if his music got you through a 5 year bid. Never ever EVER operate your thumbs to type the words, “Please follow me” to a rapper on your timeline.
Don’t think I don’t see you niggas out here replying to every single tweet from your favorite rapper, actin’ like y’all grew up together. You think he’s gonna respond to you with some friendly tender conversation? Fuck no b, he doesn’t give a fuck about you. Dudes is out here without a speckle of self respect, swimming in these rappers mentions talkin’ to themselves. They see you, but they’ll never respond to you. It’s equivalent to you niggas standing on top of apartment buildings, screamin’ at airplanes and helicopters.
The female groupie thirst might be the most rawest, most potent type of thirst ever seen on the world wide web. If you step inside of Fabolous’s mentions right now, you will find yourself in the deep end of a pool filled with thirst and desperation. Remember a few months ago when The Game made that chick take a picture with her head in the toilet for a retweet? Not even a follow back….a RETWEET! And she did the shit without a care in the world. The Game hasn’t had a hit record since Madden 07′, and he got bitches doin headstands in toilet bowls b, I couldn’t believe it. The second that picture loaded up on my iPhone screen, it immediately let me know that chicks are out here having sex for follow backs and retweets. The things females do for attention on Twitter is nothing less than amazing.
This is why I tell you niggas, as soon as your girl’s favorite rapper retweets her, the relationship is over. She’s gone dog, she’s gone forever. Watch how many of your texts and phone calls go unanswered after that. There is absolutely NO telling what she did to get that retweet b. You just have to break up with her before it’s too late and anymore damage is done. And if her favorite rapper follows your girl back??? Oh it is BEYOND a wrap. Just imagine the DMs she’s sending him every time you fuck up. Y’all in the car arguing while Lloyd Banks is playing, and the whole time she’s in his DMs asking when he’s gonna be in her city.
So listen, you grown men out there have to understand that these rappers on Twitter do not give one single fuck about you. Do they appreciate the love? Of course they do. But do they wanna be your friend? Hell no. Be a fan, not a groupie, HUGE difference.
And to you female groupies, relax with the thirst and keep control over your box. These rappers have hundreds of thousands of followers, some even millions. The chances of any of you hoes getting hand picked out of that thirsty crowd are slim to none. Y’all are out here with dehydrated antics, lookin’ stupid for no reason, Chill. The. Fuck. Out.
Aight I’m outta here b. I’m still suffering from the nightmare I had with Lil B chasing me through the woods repeating his verse from the new Lil’ Wayne tape. Y’all be cool how y’all be cool. And to you rappers out there, if you follow my girl…..I will fucking kill you.
Oh and remember. Chicks with songs playing on their voicemail greeting never find faithful men….#FACT