Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Based God Screwed My Chick: 5 Celebrity Break-Ups Lil B Probably Sparked

In celebration of Lil B's 22nd birthday, SOHH has compiled five possible celebrity break-ups we think The Based God could have caused, if granted the opportunity.
1. Nas & Kelis
Nas & Kelis (Based God F*cked My B*tch)
Power couple Nas and Kelis announced that they were calling it quicks back in April 2009 despite being pregnant with their first son together. Since then they have gone through a nasty legal battle over child support and child custody. Finally, a little over a year later, the marriage has officially come to a close. According to TMZ, the divorce has become official, however the issues of child custody and support still remain. Right now Nas has to pay around $10,000 a month, which is a fee that he claims is too much for him. How long can they possibly draw this thing out? (Hollywood News)
Hmm. We can't help but wonder if Lil' B chose to abandon the "Wonton Soup" for a long, hard slurp of Kelis' milkshake. Tasty.
2. Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez
Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez (Based God F*cked My B*tch)
Did Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez breakup? Rumors have been swirling that the cute couple have split. Some suggest that Selena Gomez dumped the popstar to focus on her career and wants a more mature boyfriend. Maybe Shia LaBeouf? Poor Biebs is reportedly heartbroken and wants to desperately win his girlfriends love back. Is it true?
Every pop singer and R&B songstress likes to have a bit of rap arm candy, but having to choose between Lil B vs. Shawty Mane? No contest....we think.
3. Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony (Based God F*cked My B*tch)
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have split after seven years together. The couple, who are parents to three-year-old twins Max and Emme, made the shock announcement in a joint statement this afternoon. 'We have decided to end our marriage,' they said. 'This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters.' (Daily Mail)
Can anyone say, MILFS? No? How about, Cougar? While we love to believe in fairytales and happy endings, but just as we saw Vivica A. Fox do to 50 Cent, we can let our minds wander and believe J to the L-O, made a holy decision. All bow to the Based God.
4. Joe Budden & Esther Baxter
Joe Budden & Esther Baxter (Based God F*cked My B*tch)
"I am a Californian. My manager has been trying to get me to move out there for about two years now. It was such a big move that I postponed it. But knowing I needed to move here I decided to go 'head and do it," she explains. "I'm recently...single and that was pretty much what was holding me back. Now that I'm single, I've decided I'm going to focus on me and my career and my child...With me, I had no idea who [Joe Budden] was, what he did, or any of his music. ['Pump It Up?'] No, I thought Swizz Beatz did that song...I didn't know anything about his past. And I judged him by who he was and who he presented himself to me." (KING)
With all that voluptuous that Baxter's back has to support, who better to juggle those goodies than someone who isn't that far from infancy? Based God-- no, Breast God. Spread the California love!
5. Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose
Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose (Based God F*cked My B*tch)
"It's pretty serious. I really, really dig her," Wiz told radio personality Angie Martinez Wednesday (March 30). "People think it's an image thing and that we're just doing it to be crazy, but like, for real, for real, it's just two great people meeting at a good time. We just like to crack jokes and stuff like that. She's very down to earth, she's very realistic, and that's the way that I am. Just seeing stuff for what it is and not being blinded by the lights...I'ma be with her. That's why we wanted to give it to the world. But it's realistic. It's nothing that we're just beefing up or just doing for anybody's eyes. It's real. She's a great girl. I really, really am into her...I'm the kind of guy who knows when I'm winning, no Charlie Sheen intended. When you won, you don't gotta keep trying to do stuff that's gonna mess it up." (Hot 97)
Sure, these love birds are conjoined at the hip, but if we had to take a wild guess, we could imagine the Based God coming in between these two. With Amber Rose living out in Los Angeles these days (far from Pittsburgh), it wouldn't be a shock if we caught Rose  and the Based God licking foreheads and being..er... gay,  at a few after parties.
From all of us at SOHH, Happy 22nd Birthday, Lil B!

No comments:

Post a Comment